Biggest 'American Idol' Cliches
11. Group Medleys
<a href="http://music.aol.com/artist/the-beatles/3644/main" target="_blank">Beatles</a> songs were meant to be sung by a group -- but not like this. Two of the Fab Four must be rolling over in their graves; the other two probably contacted their lawyers. And if we didn't have a DVR and had to watch (gasp!) in real time ... well, we just don't want to think about that scenario.
10. The 'Head Up / Arm Out' High Note
<A HREF='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/kristy-lee-cook/564995' target='_blank'>Kristy Lee Cook</a> did it. So did <A HREF='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/david-archuleta/564981' target='_blank'>David Archuleta</a> and <a href="http://television.aol.com/celebrity/carly-smithson/564874" target="_blank">Carly Smithson.</a> It's the "I'm hitting my glory note, and you better notice it!" pose. Too bad it reminds us of our high school's musical routines.
9. Mentors Who 'Love' Each of the Contestants
Every time a mentor comes on the show, they ooh, aah and gush as if these 'Idols' invented singing. Who here thinks that <a href="http://television.aol.com/celebrity/kristy-lee-cook/564995" target="_blank">Kristy Cook</a> really gave <a href="http://music.aol.com/artist/mariah-carey/62404/main" target="_blank">Mariah Carey</a> "goosebumps"? Yeah, thought so.
8. Simon and Ryan's Bickering
Ryan: You're gay. Simon: No, <i>you're</i> gay. Rinse, repeat. It's 2008 -- can't we move past the gay jokes? And we know the rivalry isn't real: We've seen your Miami man-cation pics, fellas. Just make out already.
7. Cutting to Celebs in the Audience
Forget sold-out concerts or the NBA playoffs; 'Idol' is the hottest ticket in town. Of course, the camera must pan across TV celebs (<a href="http://www.aolcdn.com/idol07/eva-longoria-audience-394" target="_blank">Eva Longoria</a>), music celebs (<a href="http://music.aol.com/artist/taylor-swift/816977/main" target="_blank">Taylor Swift</a>) and even has-been celebs (<a href="http://television.aol.com/celebrity/david-hasselhoff/30938" target="_blank">The Hoff</a>). But isn't the show supposed to <i>make</i> stars, not just show 'em to us?
6. Mic-Stand Walks
<a href='http://music.aol.com/artist/constantine/339367' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>Constantine, </font></a> <a href='http://music.aol.com/artist/bo-bice/2238560' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>Bo Bice</font></a> and <a href='http://music.aol.com/artist/chris-daughtry/857867/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>Chris Daughtry</font></a> were all major offenders. When just holding the mic isn't "rock star" enough, they hoist the entire stand in the air and drag it around like a musical security blanket.
5. ''It Was a Little Pitchy for Me''
Show of hands: Who knows what "pitchy" means? Not us, and we've been watching for seven seasons. <a href="http://television.aol.com/celebrity/randy-jackson/437569" target="_blank">Randy,</a> dawg, if you thought a contestant was totally off-key -- just say so.
4. ''... But You Look Beautiful Tonight.''
Even <a href="http://television.aol.com/celebrity/paula-abdul/78920" target="_blank">Paula,</a> who seems incapable of criticizing anyone, will acknowledge a bad performance. In <a href="http://www.tvsquad.com/2008/04/18/how-to-speak-paula-or-the-abdul-to-english-dictionary/" target="_blank">Paula-speak,</a> "looking beautiful" means you bombed. But, hey, at least you're going out in style.
3. Results After the Break
Each week, we know it's coming but it's never any less annoying. Ryan trots the bottom two or three out to the middle of the stage, starts to reveal the results and then ... commercial break. D'oh!
2. Simon Gets Booed
<A HREF='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/simon-cowell/329871/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>Simon Cowell</font></a> offers the most useful criticisms of all three judges. So why does the audience boo before he even gets a word out? One week, everyone jeered as Simon said he was "coming out of karaoke hell ..." and then cheered as he finished the sentence "... into a breath of fresh air."
1. 'Number Fingers'
You know the drill: Ryan says the contestant's phone number and said contestant holds up said number with his or her fingers. <A HREF='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/jordin-sparks/505391/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>Jordin Sparks</font></a> graduated from the fingers to pantomiming nearly everything Ryan said!
