Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

1. TV Executives

Resolve the writers' strike

We want new TV! And we don't mean 'Farmer Wants the Next Clash of the Smartest Models.' It's past time for the moguls to compromise and give writers a piece of the online revenue pie. Otherwise, reality overkill may just have us (gasp!) turning off the tube in favor of other forms of entertainment. And nobody wants that.

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Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

2. <a href='http://television.aol.com/feature/heroes' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'Heroes'</font></a>

Kill off the lame 'Heroes'

This season's integration of lame new "heroes" (ahem, Maya and Alejandro) has been about as seamless as the addition of Paulo and Nikki to the <a href='http://television.aol.com/feature/lost_tv' target='_blank'>'Lost'</a> island. Too many hours were squandered watching Maya cry people to death, only to have Alejandro resurrect them. Boring! Adiosing Alejandro in the Vol. 2 finale was smart, but it was a major mistake to spare Maya.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

3. <a href='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/paula-abdul/78920/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>Paula Abdul</font></a>

Save the crazy for <a href='http://television.aol.com/americanidol' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'Idol,'</font></a> then turn it up!

The <A href='http://television.aol.com/americanidol' target='_blank'>'American Idol'</a> judge nearly ran her crazy train off the rails in 2007 -- appearing incoherent on morning talk shows and sobbing uncontrollably for reality TV cameras -- but she seemed subdued (medicated?) on 'Idol.' Paula needs to let her freak flag fly over the 'Idol' auditions and show that cold-hearted snake <a href='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/simon-cowell/329871/main' target='_blank'>Simon </a>what it's really like to be 'Straight Up' insane.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

4. ABC

Air <a href='http://television.aol.com/feature/lost_tv' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'Lost'</font></a> Without Interruptions

When the strike stopped production after only eight episodes, ABC's plan to air the show in 16 consecutive weeks fell apart. So far, the network hasn't taken Fox's lead ( <a href='http://television.aol.com/feature/24' target='_blank'>'24'</a> won't air 'til there's a whole season's worth). Heavily serialized shows like 'Lost' need to run without interruptions. Sure, the wait will be tough -- but it will be worth it.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

5. HBO

Make the <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/deadwood/706477/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'Deadwood'</font></a> Movies

Folks still talk about <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/the-sopranos/255225/main' target='_blank'>'The Sopranos'</a> fade to black, but we haven't forgotten the way HBO pulled the plug on the sublimely profane 'Deadwood.' The sub they gave us, <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/john-from-cincinnati/1342132/main' target='_blank'>'John From Cincinnati'</a>? Frankly, that was an insult. We'd ask respectfully, but we watched too much ''wood' -- HBO, just make the two movie-length episodes you promised, ya c*&#@&#-ers.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

6. <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/greys-anatomy/426427/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'Grey's Anatomy'</font></a> / <a href='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/shonda-rhimes/305254/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>Shonda Rhimes</font></a>

Stop the George/Izzie madness

Is this really the end for Gizzie? We sure hope so! The best friends turned lovers just discovered that they have a chemistry problem, but we've known that since March. We've been robbed of the great brother-and-sister relationship that we liked in the first place. Please, Shonda, let these two go back to being housemates who turn to each other for support, not sex.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

7. <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/friday-night-lights/942750/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'Friday Night Lights'</font></a>

More Tim Riggins

When we say "more" Riggins, we mean give him more screen time, juicier storylines -- the boy's back story is rich enough to spin off his own series. If that additional character development just happened to be in the locker room (or the swimming pool, or a day at the lake, or any another shirt-doffing situation ...), we would certainly not complain.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

8. Food Network

Bring back real chefs

Remember when Food Network featured culinary experts (and by "experts" we don't mean people who say "yum-o") preparing a meal, no contests, no travel, no fake dinner parties? Forget random catering dudes, we miss the real chefs -- but the cancellation of <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/emeril-live/51809/main' target='_blank'>'Emeril Live'</a> doesn't bode well. Ah well. We'll get our cooking fix on <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/top-chef/1279033/main' target='_blank'>'Top Chef'</a> instead.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

9. <a href='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/michael-vartan/223669/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>Michael Vartan</font></a>

Give this man a good show

Oh, Vartan. So sexy, so refined, so thoroughly wasted since the end of his role as Vaughn on <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/alias/69699/main' target='_blank'>'Alias.'</a> How does such a fine actor with irresistible charm find himself trapped in a vapid role on one of the worst new shows of the season? Please cast this sublime creature in something worth watching, or at least a show where he'll get his own McNickname.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

10. TV Networks

Stop the rampant shilling on <a href='http://television.aol.com/feature/dancing-with-the-stars' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'Dancing,' </font></a> <a href='http://television.aol.com/feature/heroes' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'Heroes,' </font></a> <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/csi-crime-scene-investigation/132763/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'CSI'</font></a> etc.

Claire's love affair with her Nissan Rogue on 'Heroes.' 'Dancing's' blatant ABC star cross-promo for <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/cavemen/1342104/main' target='_bank'>'Cavemen.'</a> 'CSI's' board game episode that played like an hour-long video game commercial. Hey, we get it -- you need to pay the bills, but make the product placement and corporate shilling a little less obvious, por favor.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

11. Fox

Air a winter edition of <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/so-you-think-you-can-dance/421385/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'So You Think You Can Dance'</font></a>

The choreographers never fail to deliver and the contestants just keep getting better. So instead of a nasty new show that pits people against each other, we'd love to see a winter edition of 'So You Think You Can Dance.' We're getting goose bumps just thinking about a crossover where the finalists dance to <a href='http://television.aol.com/americanidol' targer='_blank'>'Idol'</a> performances.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

12. NBC

Do not resuscitate <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/er/49782/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'ER'</font></a>

We love <a href='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/john-stamos/67540/main' target='Blank'>John Stamos</a> as much, if not more, than the next person. But it is time to stop the madness. This hospital drama has gone on way too long, with recycled plots and beleaguered characters. Seriously, how many bad things can happen to poor rehab-bound Abby before someone kindly pulls the plug?

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

13. SCI FI Channel

Stop making bad movies, keep <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/battlestar-galactica/120616/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'BSG'</font></a> going

Sci Fi really got it right with 'Battlestar Galactica,' one of the most intelligent, exciting shows on TV. So why do the channel's awful Saturday-night B-movies keep getting bankrolled? Sci Fi ruins its critical cred with original trash like <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/ice-spiders/1243963/main' target='_blank'>'Ice Spiders.'</a> In '08, ditch all those bad flicks and invest in one more season of 'BSG' or another new series that&#39;ll knock our socks off.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

14. NBC

Tell the <a href='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/donald-trump/71941/main' target='_blank'>Donald</a>

<a href='http://television.aol.com/show/-/SH010083340000/main' target='_Blank'>'The Apprentice'</a> is so 2004. As we head into season 7 -- the celebrity edition featuring <a href='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/omarosa-manigault-stallworth/478576/main' target='_blank'>Omarosa</a>, <a href='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/carol-alt/1196/main' target='_blank'>Carol Alt</a> and some guy named <a href='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/piers-morgan/480747/main' target='_blank'>Piers Morgan</a> -- we implore you, NBC, to stop sending this arrogant ass into our living rooms. After a year of feuding with the <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/the-view/52297/main' target='_blank'>'View'</a> gals and defending <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/miss-universe-2007/1237020/main' target='_blank'>Miss USA</a> Tara Conner, we're sick of seeing his rug-topped mug on your airwaves.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

15. <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/24/157907/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'24'</font></a>

Your mission: Don't suck

For five heart-pounding seasons, '24' was a mirror image of its grizzled hero Jack Bauer: flawed for sure, but badass to the bone. But after a stellar start to Day 6 -- Jack fails to stop a nuke from detonating in L.A. -- '24' devolved into a replay of seasons past, with a self-doubting Bauer limping through the motions. When Day 7 dawns, we want Jack back.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

16. <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/csi-crime-scene-investigation/132763/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'CSI'</font></a>

Grissom &#043; Lady Heather = Hot Romance

We, like Grissom, loved Sara Sidle. Then she stomped all over his heart, abandoning him after his marriage proposal. Well, we say good riddance -- we always knew his true soul mate was Lady Heather (<a href='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/melinda-clarke/228441/main' target='_blank'>Melinda Clarke</a>). We'd love to see him get, um, tied up with this passionate dominatrix.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

17. DVR Double-Cross

Don't start and end shows at odd times

What do <a href='http://television.aol.com/feature/heroes' target='_blank'>'Heroes,' </a> <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/greys-anatomy/426427/main' target='_blank'>'Grey's Anatomy' </a> and <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/south-park/52811/main' target='_blank'>'South Park'</a> have in common? They're just three of the shows this year that kept rolling even though our DVRs knew it was time for them to end, causing us to hunt down an episode's final moments online or in re-airings. Why this trickery? We just want our shows in one piece, so we can enjoy them from start to finish.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

18. <a href='http://television.aol.com/feature/heroes' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'Heroes'</font></a>

Give <a href='http://television.aol.com/celebrity/kristen-bell/369786/main' target='_blank'>Kristen Bell</a> something to do

We loyal few <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/veronica-mars/73285/main' target='_blank'>'Veronica Mars'</a> fans were beyond psyched that the petite powerhouse got a high-profile new 'Heroes' gig. Unfortunately the actress' talents have been utterly wasted whining about her daddy issues and zapping people. Whenever 'Heroes' does finally return please let this girl show off her true electric potential.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

19. <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/the-hills/223298/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'The Hills'</font></a>

No more Heidi and Spencer

We suppose Speidi is still together, finale break-up notwithstanding -- we just don't know why anyone thinks we care. While we once enjoyed mocking Spencer's toolishness, now we're bored by their fights, their lack of class and Spencer's "reading" (what does that guy even do all day)? Please, get these fame whores off our screens, like, yesterday.

Our 2008 New Year's Resolutions for Hot TV

20. CBS

Forget <a href='http://television.aol.com/show/the-hills/223298/main' target='_blank'><FONT COLOR='#2864B4'>'Kid Nation,'</font></a> we want the Taylor show

The best thing to come out of the problematic reality show was the pint-sized Taylor. This 10-year-old beauty queen screeched the phrase "deal with it" from her town council throne. Once unseated, this spoiled girl continued to stir up heaps of trouble and made 'Nation' almost fun to watch. MTV, please make sure you get her Sweet 16 on film!