Simon Says: Nastiest Cowell Quotes
What would 'American Idol' be like without Simon Cowell? Bloody boring, if you ask us. The caustic critic regularly steals the spotlight from Randy, Paula and the struggling songbirds on the main stage with his brutal assessments. According to Forbes magazine, Cowell pulls down a hefty $43 mil a year. You'd think that would be enough money to soften him up, but lucky for us, no such luck. Read on for some of the most memorable jabs and musings from the King of Mean.
Ray Mickshaw, WireImage.com
"Didn't care much about Katharine McPhee. I don't think she was a credible recording artist. Katharine will end up on Broadway."
-- skewering season 5's runner-up to Extra
Marc Serota, Getty Images
"Let me have a choice, I'm going to work in a coal mine for 14 hours a day or I'm going to be a runner-up on 'American Idol' -- give me a break, idiot. There's no pressure ... They're not working for a living, they're becoming famous .... No one is dragging these people on to the show ... This is a competition that if you do well, you're going to become famous -- end of story, if you don't like it, do something else."
-- commenting on Clay Aiken's disclosure that he had started taking antidepressants to deal with the pressures of fame
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"I thought she was a stage-school brat when I first met her. But she's quite a nice girl. And she's our little Seabiscuit."
-- predicting Diana DeGarmo would win (she came in second to Fantasia Barrino)
Frank Micelotta, Getty Images
'If you win this competition, we will have failed.''
-- to Jim Verraros, before he advanced to the semifinal round
Kevin Winter, Getty Images
"She was very cold. She could have been a robot for all the emotion or personality she put over. And she said something very stupid. She had a little bit of criticism, and she said: 'I'm not the slightest bit worried. We're all winners now. We're all going to have successful careers.' When she said it, I said, 'She's out.' Because America decides whether they're going to have successful careers. To say that was verging on arrogance."
-- on why LaToya London was eliminated
Ray Mickshaw, WireImage.com
"That was a terrible impersonation of Elvis Presley. The dancing was hideous. It was just karaoke with a capital K."
-- to Taylor Hicks following a lukewarm performance of "Jailhouse Rock"
Fox
"It's rather like having a silly little dog who wants to jump up on your lap and you just swat the dog off. Occasionally in a very stern voice you have to say 'no.' And that's how I deal with Ryan."
-- on coping with super-peppy co-worker Ryan Seacrest
Ray Mickshaw, WireImage.com
"My act is going to run out fairly quickly. There's no question of that."
-- on his 15 minutes of fame
Kevin Winter, Getty Images
"You sounded like Cher after she's been to the dentist.''
-- finding a colorful way to describe Marianna Riccio's version of "Should I Stay or Should I Go"
Frank Micelotta, Getty Images
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 4)
This guy is never going to get over him self.
Alright, since when is it an insult to tell someone that they will end up on Broadway? Seriously, those people are like, super amazingly talanted because they sing, dance, and act REALLY well. But, hey, I'll get off my soapbox now... ;)
Take a chill pill..... He may be rough around the edges, but he's gut level honest----it's called tough love. If someone is really good and talented, they will listen to his advice, take it in stride, and not overreact........These performers are not young pups...They are practically all grown adults....What if they were out there in the real competitive entertainment industry????!!!!
My favorite line:
Simon- "That performance was horrible!!!!
Contestant- "Which part?"
Simon- "The beginning, the middle, and the end"
You mean ending up on broadway like Betty Buckley, Barbara Streisand, Audra McDonald, Julie Andrews, Sutton Foster, Donna Murphy, Laurie Beechman, Kelly O'Hara ........ she should be so lucky or talented!!!!! Only a few of the winners can match the singing, (and only one style of belt).... but can they act and dance and sing classical as well????
Simon's mother was a dancer who got rejected from broadway (England equivalent)..... that is why he shoots his barbs at broadway.
He is has a lot of control influencing other people's opinions of what is "good" It turns out he only likes people who sound exactly like Whitney, Christina, and Celine. They are good but he would blast Sarah McGloughlin or Regina Spector if they ever set foot on that stage.
Our radios would be very monotonous if we could only listen the the music Simon Cowell's recording industry pumps out.
The broadway barbs just prove his narrow mindedness.
I'ts called the WEST End
Broadway has been recently hiring American Idol winners just to sell tickets. They are OK but can't hold a candle to the seasoned Musical theatre actors. The better less known actors end upcompensating on stage
People complain about Simon, but if he was nice it would be boring. He brings a lot of constructive critisim to the table. Sometimes he is a little too harsh, but at least he is honest. Paula says everyone is good, and looks beautiful. After a while that sounds insincere. I get so sick of her standing up and dancing to every song. Very annoying! I like Randy the best, he mixes constructive critisism and still can be nice.
SIMON! DO SOMETHING WITH THAT HAIR OF YOURS PLEASE!! I will speak in your lingo so you'll understand ; Your hair makes you look "Utterly Rediculous!!" You think that makes you look "hot"? LOL! Too funny- If I were you, I would FIRE my hairstylist, "Honestly!!" You looked way better in past seasons. "Seriously"! --from Seasons 1 thru 5 , you looked way better than you do now , then from Season 6 and up to this season now something bad happened to your hairstylist. Is He / She on drugs or something??! I just don't get the whole parted in the middle and flattened out on top gig you got going on there! It looks like you forgot an umbrella one day in the downpouring rain while in London and it stayed that way due to all the hair product in it!!
To Cheryl B. I am so glad it's not just me. I have wondered how in the world someone with so much self love could not notice how weird their hair looks. What is that??? I think his hair looks like a Brillo Pad that is parted down the middle. WHAT GROWN man parts his hair down the middle???